If you’ve ever cared for someone with dementia, you probably know that just when you think you’ve figured something out, things change. Maybe Mom has always been perfectly capable of getting herself dressed, but suddenly she’s having difficulty putting on her clothes. Or Dad, who has managed the family finances for 50 years, is making decisions that don’t quite make sense.
These changes can be frustrating, confusing, and sometimes downright scary. But they’re also part of why understanding dementia progression is so important.
I always tell families that dementia doesn’t come with a playbook. What works for one person may not work for another, and what worked six months ago might not work today. The good news? There are plenty of things we can do to help our loved ones remain successful, comfortable, and engaged as their needs change.
Recognizing when Dementia Is Progressing
One of the first things families ask me is, “How do I know what stage my loved one is in?” You may have heard dementia described in three stages: mild, moderate, and severe. You may also have heard about seven stages. Both are commonly used ways of describing cognitive decline.
In the earlier stages, your loved one might forget appointments, face challenges with finding words, or have difficulty organizing complicated tasks. As dementia progresses, those changes begin interfering more significantly with everyday activities.
For example, someone who once managed their finances independently might start making unusual purchases or giving away money without understanding the consequences.
I recently heard from a woman whose mother was experiencing exactly this kind of difficulty. She didn’t want to take away her mother’s debit card because that would create frustration and take away an important piece of her independence.
Instead, she worked with the bank to establish a much lower daily spending limit. Her mother could continue using her debit card, but there was now a safeguard against accidentally spending thousands of dollars.
I love this example because it demonstrates something we sometimes forget in dementia care: We don’t always have to take something away to make it safer. Sometimes we just need to make an adjustment.
Living independently is important for seniors who want to maintain a high quality of life. For some, this simply means receiving help with tasks that have become more challenging to manage over time. Even when families have the best intentions, they may not have the time to provide the care their elderly loved ones need and deserve. If you’re the primary caregiver for a senior family member and you need respite or overnight home care in Columbus, Assisting Hands Home Care is here to help. Our dedicated, compassionate caregivers are trained to assist older adults with a wide variety of everyday tasks, including meal prep, physical activity, and personal hygiene. We also provide 24-hour care and specialized care for seniors with Alzheimer’s, dementia, and Parkinson’s.
Why Communication Often Needs to Change
As dementia progresses, processing verbal information becomes increasingly difficult. This is something I talk about constantly with caregivers because we have a tendency to make communication much more complicated than it needs to be.
Imagine you’re helping your loved one get ready for bed. You say, “Take off your shirt.” They don’t respond. You repeat yourself, perhaps a little louder. Still nothing. Now they’re pulling on their pants or picking up something completely unrelated.
At this point, you’re frustrated, they’re frustrated, and you’re probably thinking, “Why won’t they just take off their shirt?” Here’s the thing: if they understood the instruction, they’d probably be doing it!
Instead of continuing to explain, try demonstrating. Gently pull on your own shirt to show the movement, or point to the clothing you’re talking about. Sometimes that simple physical cue makes all the difference.
And believe me, I understand how difficult it can be to stop talking. I’m somebody who likes to use a lot of words! But when we’re communicating with someone who has dementia, fewer words can often accomplish much more.
Making Everyday Tasks More Manageable
Another important adjustment involves simplifying tasks. Think about everything that goes into getting dressed in the morning. You have to choose appropriate clothing, determine what goes on first, put everything on correctly, and remember all the little finishing touches. For most of us, these steps happen automatically. For someone with dementia, that sequence can become overwhelming.
I’ve heard many adult children say something like “My mother would never have left the house without lipstick. Now she gets dressed and thinks she’s completely ready, even though she hasn’t put on any makeup.”
It isn’t necessarily that Mom no longer cares about her appearance. She may simply be having difficulty remembering or sequencing the steps that were once part of her daily routine. Sometimes a reminder or a little assistance can help her continue those familiar habits.
The key is to provide enough support for success without automatically taking over the entire task. Give your loved one extra time. Break activities into smaller steps. Allow a few mistakes.
We often discover someone can still do quite a bit when we change how we’re asking them to do it.
A Better Environment Can Mean a Better Day
One of my favorite examples involves something as ordinary as going out to lunch.
Imagine taking your loved one with dementia to a restaurant at 11:30 in the morning. It’s crowded, servers are moving everywhere, dishes are clattering, and conversations are happening at every table. That’s a lot of information for anyone to process, let alone someone whose brain is already having difficulty with sensory input.
Now add the caregiver into the equation. “Mom, watch where you’re going!” “Dad, bring your walker over here!” “Don’t talk to that person!” We’re trying to help, but we’re adding even more stimulation to an already overwhelming environment.
So here’s what I suggest: try going at 2:00 instead. The restaurant is quieter, fewer people are moving around, and everyone can relax a little.
You haven’t eliminated the activity your loved one enjoys. You’ve simply changed the environment to make it more manageable. Sometimes the difference between a difficult outing and a wonderful afternoon is as simple as changing the time.
Knowing when Additional Support Could Help
As dementia progresses, families often find themselves doing more and more. Maybe you’re checking on Mom every morning, stopping by after work, managing her medications, and handling her grocery shopping.
At some point, you realize that what started as a little extra help has become a significant caregiving responsibility. That’s often when I encourage families to start thinking about additional support.
It doesn’t necessarily mean your loved one needs to move. Sometimes it means involving neighbors, friends, or family members in more regular visits. Other times, professional home care can provide companionship, assistance with daily routines, and supervision.
For example, perhaps Dad still enjoys making his own lunch, but you’re worried he’ll accidentally leave the stove on or set the microwave for ten minutes instead of one. Having someone nearby can allow him to continue participating in that familiar activity while reducing the safety concerns.
The goal isn’t to eliminate independence. It’s to provide the support necessary to preserve it for as long as possible.
Many seniors prefer aging in place over moving to assisted living facilities. If your senior loved one needs assistance to remain safe and comfortable while living at home, reach out to Assisting Hands Home Care, a leading Columbus home care agency. Our dedicated in-home caregivers can assist with meal prep, bathing and grooming, exercise, medication reminders, and many other important tasks.
Remember Every Person Is Different
I always remind families that if you’ve cared for one person with dementia, you’ve cared for one person with dementia. Your grandmother’s experience may have been completely different from what you’re seeing with your husband or father.
That’s why dementia care requires flexibility, patience, and quite a bit of trial and error. Try something. See if it works. If it doesn’t, try something else.
And don’t forget to pay attention to the small victories. Maybe Mom successfully gets dressed with a little prompting. Maybe Dad enjoys lunch at his favorite restaurant again because you chose a quieter time.
Those moments matter. Dementia will continue to bring changes, and we can’t control every part of that journey. But we can control how we respond, how we adapt, and how we support the people we love.
Sometimes the smallest changes really do make the biggest difference.
Aging in place can present a few challenges for seniors living with dementia. However, with professional dementia home care that offers Columbus families peace of mind, they can still live independently at home. Families can rely on Assisting Hands Home Care to provide their elderly loved ones with mental and social stimulation, timely medication reminders, assistance with meal prep, and much more. Our caregivers are available around the clock to help your loved one live a happier and healthier life.
Want to learn more about dementia and the challenges families face along the journey? Join me for my monthly Real Talk webinar, where I take an in-depth look at a specific dementia-related topic. Click here to learn more and register.
