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Caring for a loved one with dementia is often described as a journey, but it’s not the sort with a clear route or a neat set of directions. It’s unpredictable, with detours, delays, and plenty of surprises along the way. Over the years, I’ve learned the moments that first feel like disasters often turn into opportunities to adapt, learn, and even connect in new ways.
Caregiving doesn’t only affect the individual living with dementia—it changes life for the caregiver, too. When one person is struggling, both feel the weight. And when there’s a spark of light, relief is shared as well.
The First Obstacle: Coming to Terms
Acceptance is usually the very first challenge and often the hardest. It’s natural for families to hope that memory slips are simply “normal aging.” Well-meaning friends may even encourage denial by saying things like “That happens to me all the time!”
When I lead workshops or meet with families, caregivers often confess, “I wish I had known this sooner.” My response is always the same: yesterday is gone, what matters is how you move forward today. The healthiest place to stand is right beside your loved one, not racing ahead with unrealistic expectations and not dragging behind in denial.
When Behavior Shifts
As dementia advances, behavior can change in ways that don’t always make sense to the people watching. A daughter once told me she believed her mother was being manipulative. In truth, her mother’s mistrust and agitation were part of the illness, not intentional choices.
These changes may be frustrating, but they call for a shift in how we respond. Meeting someone with patience, flexibility, and a willingness to step into his or her reality makes a big difference. One family I worked with put it beautifully: “Go along to get along.” It’s a phrase I still use today.
Safety and the Home Question
One of the most emotional crossroads comes when families wonder if their loved ones are still safe at home. This isn’t a simple yes-or-no answer.
I’ve seen some very creative safety measures: a wife who asked her neighbors to alert her if they spotted her husband wandering, families who registered their loved ones with local first responders, even those who quietly slipped Apple AirTags into shoes or clothing.
But sometimes it isn’t about physical safety alone. I remember one daughter who thought her mom was doing fine until she found out her mother was eating nothing but plain bread because making a sandwich had become too complicated. Safe? Yes. Thriving? No. That’s often the turning point.
There are many reasons seniors might need assistance at home to be able to thrive. Some may require regular mental stimulation due to an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, while others might only need part-time assistance with exercise and basic household tasks. Assisting Hands Home Care is a leading Columbus home care service provider. Families rely on our expertly trained caregivers to help their senior loved ones maintain a high quality of life.
When Care Becomes Personal
As dementia progresses, families often find themselves stepping into intimate tasks like bathing, dressing, grooming, and handling incontinence. These moments can be particularly tough when children care for parents of the opposite sex.
I’ve seen loved ones carefully hang used Depends in the window to dry, unaware they were disposable. Others neatly fold them and place them in laundry baskets. For caregivers already juggling children, jobs, and household responsibilities, this stage is often when additional help becomes essential. Accepting that support isn’t a failure, it’s recognizing caregiving was never intended to be a solo job.
As seniors age, they may experience a variety of physical, emotional, and cognitive challenges. While many families choose to provide care on their own, professional home care can ease that responsibility and bring peace of mind. Families often need time to rest, recharge, or manage other commitments, and some seniors require around-the-clock support that loved ones simply can’t provide alone. In those moments, Assisting Hands Home Care is here to offer trusted, compassionate help tailored to each family’s needs.
Everyday Curveballs
The journey is full of unexpected challenges—some stressful, some surprisingly funny:
- Doctor visits – Resistance is common. Sometimes the solution is a physician who makes home calls or scheduling several visits in a single day to cut down on disruption.
- Legal issues – Without power of attorney, families may face court battles. My own grandfather refused to sign over POA to my father, which made an already difficult time harder. My advice? Handle legal paperwork early.
- Lost valuables – Jewelry, purses, and hearing aids frequently go missing. I’ll never forget the woman who moved into memory care proudly wearing a huge “diamond” ring, which her family later explained was a safe fake they had swapped years ago.
- Unsafe activities – Stoves left burning, pots forgotten, or even toothpaste confused with hemorrhoid cream. The answer isn’t to remove independence altogether, but to adapt: unplugging stoves, switching to small appliances, or locking away risky items.
- Endless phone calls – One caregiver told me her mom rang her 20 times in a night, accusing her of stealing. Solutions ranged from phones with only two contacts to letting calls go to voicemail. One daughter admitted she eventually found her mom’s voicemails entertaining.
- Accusations – False claims of theft or mistreatment are painful but common. Arguing rarely helps. Sometimes a calm apology, even when undeserved, is the fastest way forward.
- Reversed sleep cycles – Staying up all night, sleeping all day. In memory care, we often helped by first addressing the individual’s worry (“I need to go to work”) and then gently redirecting him or her back to bed. More activity during the day often enhanced rest at night as well.
A Caregiver’s Question
A caregiver once asked me why her aunt, an artist, had stopped painting. She assumed her aunt had lost her ability. But the problem wasn’t skill, it was motivation. People with dementia often have difficulty starting an activity on their own.
Instead of just leaving art supplies nearby, try making a direct request: “Can you paint this bird?” or “Will you show me how to draw?” Responding to a prompt is much easier than starting from scratch. Sometimes, though, the most meaningful activity is as simple as sitting outside together.
Final Thoughts
Dementia care is never a straight path. It’s a winding journey full of challenges, adaptations, and unexpected joys. Here are truths I carry with me:
- Every “uh-oh” moment can become an “aha.”
- Caregiving is about both people—the one giving care and the one receiving it.
- Creativity and flexibility make tough days lighter.
Above all, remember: understanding the disease is how you get through it. With preparation, compassion, and shared wisdom, families can not only survive the journey but also find moments of meaning and even beauty along the way.
Caring for seniors with dementia can be challenging for family caregivers. Luckily, there is dementia care Columbus families can rely on. Professional dementia-trained caregivers help seniors with dementia stay safe and comfortable at home by preventing wandering, providing cognitive stimulation, and assisting with household chores. If your loved one needs professional care, Assisting Hands Home Care Columbus is here to help. To explore if hiring a compassionate, dedicated caregiver is right for you, speak with one of our Care Specialists today.
